


Thunder In Our Hearts

by enigmaticblue



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-24
Updated: 2010-11-24
Packaged: 2017-10-13 08:42:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/135353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticblue/pseuds/enigmaticblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the nightmares follow you home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thunder In Our Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the hc_bingo prompt “torture.” The title is from the Kate Bush song, “Running Up That Hill.”

Jack wakes slowly, hearing the hospital bed creak under him as he shakes. He has no idea how long he’s been asleep, but he’s fully in the grip of the withdrawal symptoms now. Jack knew it was coming—has known since the moment Ba’al killed him and brought him back again. He’d been aware that if he made it out alive he’d go through withdrawal.

But _knowing_ and _experiencing_ are two completely different things.

Jack can feel his hospital gown sticking to sweat-slick skin, and even the sheets are damp. When he reaches for the glass of water on the bedside table, his hand trembles so hard he draws it back again. If he even tries to drink, he’ll end up spilling most of it. The bed doesn’t need to be any damper than it already is.

He misses Daniel’s steadying presence, and he wonders ascension might have been better. Jack could have annoyed Daniel for years, maybe even for millennia. At the moment, the pain is bad enough that he can’t remember why he hadn’t tried harder.

And then he hears Carter say, “Sir? Can I get you anything?”

He blinks, his vision slowly clearing until he can make her form out in the dim light. She has her long legs tucked up under her, and there are dark circles under her eyes, the lines around her mouth made more obvious in her obvious weariness.

“Carter? What—what are you still doing here?” he manages with a mouth that feels as dry as a desert.

“We’ve been taking turns,” she replies simply, as though that explains everything, and he thinks maybe it does. “Do you want a drink?”

“Yeah. Please.”

She puts the straw against his lips, and he drinks quickly, thirstily, wondering how long the withdrawal symptoms will last. At the moment, Jack can’t remember how long Daniel had suffered, or how often Daniel had used the sarcophagus.

Jack doesn’t think he’d gone through quite so many times, but he’d lost count somewhere along the way. There had been only so many deaths he could keep track of.

“How are you feeling, sir?” Carter asks, although her tone indicates she already knows what his answer will be.

“Like shit,” he replies, too tired to try to find a lie. “Day-old shit.”

A smile quirks her lips. “I’ll bet. Do you need anything else? I can find the doctor on duty.”

“There’s nothing they can do for me,” he replies, certain of that much for the moment. Jack just has to get through this, that’s all, just as he’d suffered through all those torture sessions with Ba’al.

Carter tries to smile. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault,” Jack insists. “When you came, you gave me enough of an opening to escape. I wouldn’t have made it without you.”

“We couldn’t leave you behind. Sir,” she adds belatedly.

She reaches out tentatively, and Jack allows himself the luxury of clasping her hand, feeling as though she’d offered him a lifeline, much as Daniel had.

“Teal’c’s going to relieve me in a few hours,” Carter says as though reading his mind. “You won’t be alone until we get you through this, not unless you want to be.”

“No,” Jack says. “Could I—”

She puts the straw to his lips again. “Okay?”

“Yeah.” He feels strangely vulnerable before her knowing gaze. Daniel, Teal’c, and Carter—they know him best. “I saw him.”

Carter blinks. “Who did you see, Colonel?”

“Daniel, when Ba’al had me. Daniel thought the only way I’d survive was if I ascended.”

She looks away, and he can see the sorrow in her eyes. They don’t say much about Daniel; the loss is too fresh.

Someday, Jack thinks, they’ll be able to tell stories, to joke about Daniel’s idiosyncrasies, about the fact that Daniel ascended and joined the Ancients, but they aren’t there yet.

“Did he look okay?” Carter asks wistfully.

“He looks like Daniel,” Jack replies and hopes that’s enough of an answer for her.

Carter huffs out a sound that might almost be a laugh. “It’s good to know that some things don’t change.”

“Not even for ascension,” Jack agrees. His eyes drift closed, and he feels Carter squeeze his hand. “Sam, stay,” he whispers, allowing himself this moment of weakness.

“As long as you want me to,” she promises softly. “I’ll be right here as long as you want.”

Jack knows that will have to do.


End file.
